I remembered myself in time

2 outubro, 2015

gabi-giacomucci-lembrei-de-mim-1

…I’ve remembered myself in time. In time to be happy, to chase my dreams, to be who I am and always seek to be a better person not only for someone else but be a better person for me first.

Yes, I’ve remembered myself before I forget how to be me, the owner of my own dreams and of my own will. You know that famous saying “Better late than never”? Yeah … I’ve just got in time to review my priorities, which were all shuffled, to reformulate plans, which seemed so uncertain and to feel how it is to be alone in many kinds of situations in life and hey … it’s very good to grown in maturity!

It’s so funny how we give our happiness to another person’s hands as if her or she has the duty to make us happy and in fact, I must say that NO! No one, but you, is required to make you happy. That’s why come the disappointments, as if they had not kept the deal, but wait… what deal? When did the other told you he or she would be responsible for your happiness? Probably you made it for them.

I had forgotten my plans for the next year, in fact had forgotten what I like to eat in the evening. I love cake with chocolate syrup combined with a latte coffee, moreover, I discovered not one but many  new things about me, such as the fact that I like drinking tea before bedtime! My mom bought one with the title “Marrakeshi Tea” which is perfect for a reading time (and I did not even know I could like reading so far). I like to watch TV Shows on Saturdays and Sundays cuddled with my pillow, eating popcorn. I like to attend dance classes even though I don’t know how to dance. I don’t  like rainy days,I’m afraid of thunders, I love cats, I love horror movies but then I hate then at night, I love singing while driving, I hate being late, I’ve also found out that I don’t like that drink called “Big Apple” but I always used to drink it because so far … I had forgotten me.

I forgot I have dreams and have to chase them to come true, but I have waited for a long time for someone else to do that for me. I know, I was so blind I forgot that my life is my own responsibility.
I was stuck in your plans, your life, your view and I could even see mine. I was so depended on what you were giving to me that I even realized it was actually being taken from me….Then you left and I had nothing because I didn’t know myself, I didn’t know my dreams and by the way I didn’t have plans for one.

That’s how I remembered myself.
Learning to be good enough for me and not waiting for others to complete your other half is a constant exercise. It’s not due to overnight. You have to learn how to know yourself, enjoy each moment with yourself, know what you like, what annoys you and then share it all with another person without overloading them with so many demands that is only up to you to fulfill them.

After a memory loss collapse that seemed to be eternal I remembered myself. Now I am ready to start a lifetime planned for myself, paddling toward my goals and dreams. I’m not drowning anymore, not because I know how to row the boat but because I’ve learned how to go through heavy tides and my enemies dont know how to swim.
If you, a new one – perchance – appear along the way, you are more than welcome because I’ve saved room for you in my life. But I only ask you one thing … If you are not willing to take the boat with me, do not hinder my tide right now that I’ve picked up the tricks.

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